JANINE MOVES TO THE COUNTRY is the first part of a trilogy, a sequel. I began the project while taking care of my deathly ill mother. In her final weeks, she talked about her experiences of violence as a woman. And she made it clear to me that there is a connection between her female biography and my queer history.
Reflecting on a transgenerational level about experiences of violence was a new facet and created an almost uncanny abyss. I grew up in a village. As I kid, I had already started cross-dressing and calling myself Janine. When I was around twelve years old and it became dangerous to run around the village streets in girls’ clothing, my mother bought me a video camera. The activity now took place in my bedroom, remodelled as a studio, and were reflected in many, many recordings. When I turned fifteen, my mother regularly allowed me to go to the closest small city on weekends. There was a queer scene there and I met Nadja, who saw herself as a young man and went around as a dandy. We moved freely through the city. By the age of nineteen, I left the village and moved to a big city.
After my mother’s death, I made regular trips back to my hometown. The village left wounds not only in her, but also in me. To create resonances between these wounds and my own memories and repeated encounters with old and new residents of the village via my mother’s stories was an occasion to enter the village again as Janine – and, this time, very openly armed with my camera.
Jan Eilhardt
